Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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