She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
