Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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