I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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