My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
