my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
