He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
