I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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