Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize