Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
