shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
