she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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