why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
