i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
