"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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