I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
