My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
