i don't like sucking hair
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
