i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need to calm my uterus...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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