wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
