Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
