i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
