She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize