Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
