but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
