I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Holy shit dude........stairs
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
