I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
NoShamevember. You game?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
