dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
