Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
