make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
