Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
In America we eat man semen.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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