This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
