he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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