I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ttyl tear gas
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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