I faked an abortion last night.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
