yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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