For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
