I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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