We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
