I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize