I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
3 2 1 whiskey
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
