I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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