good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
