quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
