went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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