gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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