I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think my mom watched the whole time
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
