You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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