party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize