last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
