god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
