I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
