Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
