No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
