Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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