Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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