Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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