how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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