Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
