My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
