i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
