Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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